Oh, Lovely Lazy Housewife,
You hide upon the vine.
I lift and poke and search about
Until you are truly mine.
Will your knobbly countenance
Save you from the knife?
No! you are such a tasty dish,
Those bumps won't save your life.
Yep, it doesn't seem to matter how long or bumpy-beany
the Lazy Housewife beans become,
they are still wonderful!
(pictured above with some Purple Kings for company)
A young housewife, picked in her prime is
(as every fellow knows) tender and cooks well whole.
However when they get older,
a bit of preparation may be necessary
before enjoying what she has to offer.
When I was a girl my mother had one of these
I like this little gadget.
It isn't something new...
This part is on a spring and allows the guide
to open up to accommodate even obese lazy housewives.
See those blades inside? Mwaa-ha-ha-ha!
It has a blade in the end to top and tail the housewife.
Note how the guide has sprung closed in this photo.
Then you just push-pull the bean through.
The little blades at the sides, on the guides
take off the old lazy housewife's stringy bits.
What you end up with is a pile of evenly sliced beans,
regardless of the size you started with.
A quick steam and
this little housewife
will be yours to savor!