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I ran away from teaching to the country to grow veggies. There are also some chooks and a pair of troublesome goats who were so much trouble they had to go! My simple green life isn't always as simple or as green as I'd like...but I keep trying!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Size doesn't matter.

Well, that is something I have been told.  
Not sure if I believe it or not.

Check out this whopper which weighed in at exactly 100 grams.

Now, I know you are all wanting to know
whether it lived up to expectations.
Well, you are asking the wrong person.
However, being the voyeur I am, I can tell you
what I overheard and saw.

There were oooohs and aaahs of pleasure from the kitchen
as the comely cook's tiny hands fondled the giant. 
Her face was slightly flushed...radiant,
her mouth partly open as she hefted the big fella...
weighing, considering, contemplating.
There was a momentary flicker of fear in her eyes as she
comprehended its prodigious girth.
then a smug smile of anticipated pleasure.

Her breathing became shallow
and her pert little bosoms heaved...
up and down, up and down.

Taking the monster in both her hands she beat it gently,
against the edge of the frypan.

She inserted her two thumbs into the crack
and prised it apart with her deft,
and experienced fingers.

As the life-giving contents were released,
somewhat prematurely,
the cook threw back her head, 
eyes closed 
and cried out,
"Wash your hands, dinner will be ready soon."

Yep!  It was a double twice the fun!

Who needs fifty shades of grey anyway,
when you can have so many shades of eggshell?


  1. HeheHazel, are you going to venture into writing, I think you might have an undiscovered talent there.......
    Can't beat a double yolker for double the enjoyment....

    Claire :}

  2. Fifty Shades of Hazel I'm thinking! cheers Wendy

  3. LOL! Talk about creative writing! That was fun to read Hazel!

  4. Hahaha! You're such a naughty girl!

  5. OOooo you are naughty, but I like ya......

  6. I need a cold shower after that hahahah thanks xoxoxo

  7. Cracking story, Hazel, you cheeky thing!

  8. Haha!!!! Hazel you always make me laugh !


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