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I ran away from teaching to the country to grow veggies. There are also some chooks and a pair of troublesome goats who were so much trouble they had to go! My simple green life isn't always as simple or as green as I'd like...but I keep trying!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Sexy plants

I was going to write another post about the cleverness of plants.  You know how some plants, like pumpkins, squash and these zucchini have male and female flowers?  About how corn has a showy male appendage on the top and silky girly tassels on the cobs and how pollen falls from the boy bits to the girl bits.  I took these photos to illustrate the post...but they are just so darn sexy I have decided to let them do the talking (well most of it).

Boy zucchini flowers even have a little penis..  When I pointed this out to my six year old grandson the other day
he laughed and laughed and laughed - as only a boy of that age can when his Grandma says a 'rude' word.  He
just kept say, 'You said penis! guffaw, guffaw, guffaw' over and over. 

Girl flowers have curly 'come hither' bits.

Both have tiny hairs that grow towards their sexy doubt to make the trip into the flower easier for the insect pollinators.
For the record I have planted two kiwi fruit vines.  Kiwi fruit have a plant for each sex. This is the girl vine.  Apparently the male vines have a 'more vigorous' growth habit.  Typical, the woman does all the labour, producing and the bloke gets to flex his muscles and boast to his mates.  If he does his job really well next year maybe I will let him break out the cigars.


  1. Nice new 2011 look to your Blog Hazel

  2. How wonderful ... the narrative and the photos! Lol ... I can just imagine your grandson's reaction ... my 6-year old granddaughter on the other hand would just die a million deaths if I whispered that word!

    Loving the new look to your blog, too. That background shot on the header is just great!

  3. Larfing away here!

    Oh my goodness! The word verification is "comic"!!!!

  4. Great pics. I never knew there were girl and boy zucchini flowers - shows how unobservant I am.

  5. What's new in nature? Boys are so amused by these things it's funny to see.Having geese is handy and helps the explaining.

  6. Learn something new everyday. There I was thinking the bits on top of my sweetcorn were just for decoration.

    It's not just 6 year old boys, my teenage boys would probably still laugh if their grandma said the word penis...

  7. We have just dug out our three Kiwi fruit plants.The position they were growing in did not get full sun all day, and consequently here in North Tasmania they did not ripen sufficiently. Their growth was rampant and although we had constructed a solid arch for them to ramble over it needed to be bigger. The male plant is particularly virile and can easily overwhelm a single girl. As our energies are limited and keeping such a plant in check can be time-consuming, I am not sure we will replace our plants in a new position. I wish you very good luck with yours.

  8. thanks Willo. I have planted them in a north facing position and plant to make a sturdy structure for them to grow on. If there is one thing I have it is time. So I will heed your warning about the virility of the male kiwi fruit. Should I use secateurs or a cold spoon?

  9. We have a boy and girl kiwi plant - one flowered and the other didn't so no baby fruits - I don't know if they will have survived this winter at all.

    What about the parsnip at the bottom of this page Boy or girl?

  10. Who would have thought it - Hazel now has an X-rated gardening blog, complete with full-frontal pictures of her plants' naughty bits!?!

    What I want to know is how does a plant breeder create, for instance, an all-female cucumber variety? How do they do it???

  11. Must admit those photos are sexier than anything I've seen in a while.


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